Everything is sacred
We’ve all spent a large chunk of our lives investing in work, and in our external landscapes, tending to them and nurturing them with all we’ve got. In relation, most of us have probably spent far, far less time tending to our internal landscapes… until a crisis hits.
Of course this one’s been a bit of a double whammy because not only is it a goddamn mess outside, with all the familiar systems and processes either crashing down to the ground or coming to a slow and creaky halt, but we’re also all navigating this changing panorama from relative isolation.
The reason I’m even talking about this is because I want to talk about ritual. For anybody who’s followed The Tonic, you will already recall how much I value ritual. This doesn’t mean complicated rites and other crap with religious connotations because I am deeply, avowedly not a religious person. It just has everything to do with creating small touchpoints through your day, weeks, months, years… that equip you to plod along at pace even when you feel like you’ve just been run over a monster truck.
I have talked about the value of daily routine and what it gives me, about small rituals I borrowed from other people, and about ones that are as much about beauty as anything else.
“Do they grant you immunity to life’s truly awful parts? Well, no.”
Self-care and personal ritual are exactly that – personal. It will likely look very different for me and for you, but I can tell you this with certainty: before, something like this, the financial uncertainty and the enforced staying in, would’ve all lead me to spiral. Oh man, spiral-town for sure. I would’ve been anxious, angry, and projecting that shit onto anybody in a five-foot radius. But, and I am giving myself serious props here, I’m currently able to retain a sense of humour (mostly), and trust (also mostly) and haven’t lost faith that it will all work out, that it is working out, even if things can sometimes feel really, spectacularly shit.
That is why I invest so much energy into personal practices of all sorts.
Do they grant you immunity to life’s truly awful parts? Well, no. That’s unavoidable, sorry. They do however gift you grace, resilience, and a sense of trust that actually, seriously, everything will be okay.
For me, it is daily movement and sweat. This committed daily practice that allows me to assimilate and purge the stickier bits that merely rational thought will not. It is also meditation; that one is newer and harder for me, but the rewards are undeniable. Fun? No. Functional? Deeply.
It is also the outdoors – walking outside with Gaurav and the dogs is now a window of time that is so deeply pleasurable I cannot believe that I took it for granted for so many years.
It is all too easy to turn this into another item on a to-do list, or to try and squeeze in multiple modalities in an attempt to feel not just good, but BEST, but it takes self-knowledge to sift through these and keep the ones that actually replenish or renew you. The ‘best’ regimes are flexible, fun, and allow room for changing schedules and moods. These are my rituals. Find yours.
